You know what Lucasfilm? J.J.? I don’t have time for this. So what if Entertainment Weekly has released new images from Star Wars: The Force Awakens? I have a life, you know. Really important things to do. You think I have endless hours to analyze every single picture you release and discuss them as a committee? I am not a committee!
Who is General Hux (Domhnall Gleeson)? Why does he want to ‘show the galaxy his might’? Come on, guys, you’ll have to try harder than that to hook this girl. Do or do not, there is no try, amirite? So what if new villain Kylo Ren’s (Adam Driver) true identity, according to EW, has been ‘masked from us in more ways than one’? The only thing masked over here is my indifference. I mean, I guess I wouldn’t mind knowing the origin of Captain Phasma’s (Gwendoline Christie) name. Her character’s armour does look pretty sweet.
Why is the X-Wing fighter back, JJ, why? And WHAT is the deal with 3PO’s red arm? That’s it, I give in to the hate. You know what this album of pictures is? It’s a trap. So here I am, sucked into the endless void of waiting for December 18, 2015. Oh well. All I was going to do today was go down to the Tosche Station to pick up some power converters anyway.