So, how’d we like it? I think it’s the most I have enjoyed the show in a long time. I always enjoy the Globes. Why? Well, because everyone is a mixed bag of emotions, drunk, and it’s just a lot of fun to watch (the commercial cutaway shots!). Where else are you going to see Glenn Close acting a fool? NO WHERE! The Golden Globes, as ridiculous as some of the nominations are from year to year (here’s looking at you, Jennifer Love Hewitt for The Client List), are fun – nothing more, nothing less. And, I had fun. Let’s begin…
The Hosts: I was worried about Tina & Amy. Maybe worried isn’t the right word. I was nervous. I just wanted them to do a great job. I didn’t know how they would structure their jokes, if they’d include sketch, etc… I just couldn’t predict where it would go. But after the incredible James Cameron & James Franco jokes, there was absolutely no need to worry. The monologue was on point, the follow up jokes were solid, and their moments in the audience was a nice touch, especially when they seemed to have gone missing in the second hour of the program.
What I loved most is that they weren’t afraid to go there like Ricky, without making it so obvious that they weren’t afraid of going there (unlike Ricky). Take for instance the Taylor Swift “dig” from Tina. “Taylor Swift, stay away from Michael J. Fox’s son. No, she needs some me time!” The audience loved it and was also like “ohhhhh” but not only is this true; it was quick, unexpected and super sharp. What I’m trying to say, I guess, is that Tina Fey took a dump on Taylor Swift and it was incredible. All in all, Tina and Amy did an outstanding job and I don’t know what I was worried about.
The Speeches: Anne Hathaway makes it really hard, doesn’t she? I’m a fan, I am, but not of her “LOOK AT ME!!” moments. Did she have to thank her manager when the FILM won? Nope. I mean, she’s the worst…she really is, and I get the hate on her…but then there’s just something about her I can’t hate on. It’s the earnestness of it all, I guess? For me, at least. And the talent is there. Are you still with me?
The only thing I like better than Adele are Adele Acceptance Speeches. Our Steph does a wonderful impression, but I think Adele did the best impression of Adele last night, “We’ve just been sitting here pissing ourselves laughing!”
Can Jennifer Lawrence just accept everyone’s award for him or her forever for the history of time and then on? I thought her speech was what everyone else wanted to do: it was to the point, funny, sweet and humble. She’s really irresistible…
…Hold on. I was going to write about other acceptance speeches AND THEN I REMEMBERED THE JODIE FOSTER MOMENT. I’ve never been more confused, scared and worried for everyone and myself in my entire life. What the fuck was that? I think I got what she was trying to do there but it all just seemed…sad? I shouldn’t be feeling sad for Jodie F-cking Foster but then, you know, there’s that rambling of a speech she presented us with and I just wanted it to be over. Are we getting a Panic Room 2? I’m glad they included Flightplan.
The Bits: We all cringe whenever two actors are forced to do a little bit for us. It’s like the Hollywood version of water boarding. There’s nothing I hate more than an awkward bit that isn’t going anywhere. There’s also nothing I love more than a bit that KILLS. Remember Emma Stone/Ben Stiller at the Oscars last year? Of course you do because that bit killed. Well there was only one bit tonight that really stands out and it was Will and Kristen improvising for the category they were presenting. Excuse me as I watch this forever and hate Tommy Lee Jones forever.
The Wins: For the most part, it was what we expected, right? The TV ones all lined up (the Lena Dunham/Girls wins were a nice surprise and very HFPA) and the film categories went as expected (Les Miserables is, through and through, a HFPA movie and while it should’ve gone to Moonrise, I’m not complaining on Les Mis getting some love where and when it can). And then Argo won and the game changed. For the most part, I saw it coming. The Critics Choice Awards hinted at it, and now the Globes sealed the deal (for me): at this moment, I think Argo will win Best Picture. It’s gaining the sympathy votes for Affleck and that seems like a train I wouldn’t want to jump in front of.
As for everyone else: Hugh Jackman surpassing DDL at this point is unimaginable, but one can dream a dream, right? But I’m glad he got a Globe and it was much deserved. Hathaway’s too. Then The Chastrain came out and won and I mean, after finally seeing Zero Dark Thirty, no one else should win Best Actress or even be considered. That final scene almost ruined me and is enough of a reason for her to win.
It could very well still go to Lincoln or Silver Linings. I am not one to mess with Harvey Weinstein (to borrow from J. Law, “Harvey, thank you for killing whoever you had to kill to get me up on this stage”) but as of right now, I’m feeling this: Argo for Best Picture and Spielberg for Best Director. That way everyone’s happy.
Agree? Disagree? Sound off below and you can find me on Twitter @jordanapps